I know what my mother thinks.. mom's big on not lying, at all. There are no white lies, only lies.. Even lies of omission are considered a cardinal sin, because, in the end, they're still lies, in the end to keep up the omission other lies must be told.
But is that expectation reasonable? Is it reasonable to expect loved ones to tell you everything? Is it healthy? Or are there some things that shouldn't be told?
I will admit that I'm a firm believer in not keeping secrets, I hate secrets. I hate what they do to people, I hate how they eat away at you, bit by bit.. big ones, small ones, I hate them.
But, I also understand the need for them. I understand that sometimes it's good to keep a secret, if only for a little while. I understand the need and desire to have a situation under control before you tell someone what is going on, I understand that to save pain, to save worry you need to keep some things to yourself until you have everything under control.
Does that understanding make it any easier? Again, this is a many answer question, it's both yes and no and sort of and not really. It's being torn between two states, wanting to know everything, almost needing to know everything, and knowing that there are some things you'd rather not know, that you're better off not knowing.
Or perhaps I simply make the situations more complicated than they really are. I could answer the above question with a resounding yes. Yes, it makes it easier understanding that, yes, it makes it easier knowing that what is done is done out of the desire to save on what may be construed as negative feelings, that the lies come from a good place.
In the end I don't think I'm going to come to a very satisfying conclusion, no matter which way I decide to steer myself. There's always what-ifs and disclaimers and extenuating circumstances.
